D for dancer 😭
One governor "failed" his WAEC, and Customs is failing all of us.
Good morning, Big Brains!
Love no be scam o! I’m watching the wedding ceremony of my friend/brother Obinna as I type this, and I hope love finds all of you reading this. Except for the people spoiling Nigeria.
-Tezor.
Word Count: ~ 950
Reading Time: ~ 3 mins
Today’s scoop gives us some insight into the mechanics of script marking. WAEC marked Okpebholo’s script (allegedly o). Customs marked its own script, and passed with flying colours.
THURSDAY’S BIG SCOOP:
Nigerian politics is in its Report Card era
Just in: Customs investigates itself, finds itself innocent
The Big Deal
Nigerian politics is in its Report Card era
In the bible, David danced with all his might. But in real life, it’s David’s uncle who has been dancing of late. The Osun State governor, Ademola Adeleke (AKA Davido’s Uncle), is no stranger to tearing steps. The man danced and danced until he stepped on another Governor’s toes in the fit of dancing. That governor is Edo State’s Monday Okpebholo, and he was throwing mad shade at a campaign event on Thursday, August 6th, 2026. Okphebolo basically said that Adeleke dances too much, instead of governing 🤷
The matter took a hilarious turn when Davido posted Okpebholo’s alleged WAEC results. We cannot confirm the authenticity of the result, but oh my gosh, this brother BANGED D, D, D, D, D. (D for Dancer?).
Now, this discussion is not about exam performances. It’s about political and electoral performances, so why should dancing be scrutinised in place of competence?
To be fair, Okpebholo spoke about bad roads in the state, arguing that Adeleke should be fixing such issues instead of dancing. Good as his point was, the statement about dancing has overshadowed it. Now, the substantive critique, which should have been the main gist, has become something else.
Edo State roads are also horrendous, so Okpebholo is no saint. But his point still stands. It’s a shame he botched that by turning insults into his strategy.
Why is this a big deal?
It would not be the first time personal shade has been thrown in the face of more pressing issues. In June 2025, Rotimi Amaechi & Nyesom Wike were beefing over hunger.
Amaechi had complained about widespread hunger in the country during his 60th birthday celebration; then, Wike said he was hungry for power, not food. Amaechi clapped back and called him a child. It escalated into Gbas Gbos, and the original, valid concern about hunger got sidelined.
This all reflects a broader pattern that underscores the need for issue–led discussions to help us understand who will perform well and who will be after our lives.
Now, again, the way Davido just posted the result without a caption is HILARIOUS. It’s one of the funniest things to happen on Beyonce’s internet this week. Yet… we cannot confirm it, and that is an issue as well. Did Okpebholo actually release his results in the run-up to becoming governor? And are the WAEC results of other governors publicly available? (That would be cinema).
In any case, we are trying to say here is that the information economy around the people elected to serve us is relatively thin, with not enough room for scrutiny. It is all part of accountability, which we chronically lack.
We still never got a call back on Tinubu’s WAEC results; Buhari’s school leaving certificate was subject to so much criticism, yet he ruled us for eight solid years. The emergence of Okpebholo’s alleged results is just an eye-opener to how much access we have and why our electoral systems do not thoroughly interrogate political backgrounds.
OSUN STATE GOVERNORSHIP ELECTION IS ON SATURDAY, AUGUST 15th.
It is not about dance moves, nor is it about WAEC results. Osunians, Osunites, and the Osunese people need to ignore these distractions and lock in. Come out on Saturday, peacefully cast your votes, and make sure they count.
Ó dàbọ̀!
Just in: Customs investigates itself, finds itself innocent
Omo, Customs have been customary with their drama, but we can’t seem to get accustomed to their customised explanations. Because Nigerians are paying the cost, um….and we are getting tired.
On August 7, 2026, a report from a media outlet alleged that there’s been smuggling, revenue leakage, recruitment impropriety, and manipulation of succession happening within the Nigerian Customs Service (NCS).
Then, on August 13, NCS released a report denying the allegations. To be fair, we do not know whether these allegations are true. But that is not the point. The point here is that Customs have had questionable doings that might deter our faith in them during trying times like this. And their actions in these trying times are quite interesting.
Let us start with the NCS’s questionable doings. In 2024, for instance, an investigative piece on rice smuggling across Nigerian borders called out Nigerian Customs corruption like mad. That same year, the EFCC indicted and detained several of its officials in a multi-billion Naira corruption scandal
Essentially, NCS has an elite villain story. There is a whole rabbit hole to go down if you are interested. With a history like this, it’s understandable if people don’t buy their ‘’I’m not like other guys “ stance.
The service’s National Public Relations Officer, Deputy Comptroller Abdullahi Maiwada, denied everything by saying a whole lot of nothing. First of all, he said that the allegations are not aligned with their activities, and claimed that they have been making seizures along the routes where the smuggling was alleged.
Addressing the allegations of succession manipulation, he said that the recruitment of Assistant Superintendents of Customs II was conducted under the authorisation of the Nigeria Customs Service Board and in line with the NCS Act 2023 and Federal Character Commission guidelines.
Soooo, according to you, you did no wrong by your standards? No independent audit findings, no third-party verification numbers? Massive.
When asked about independent investigations, Maiwada mentioned that the organisation is subject to other bodies. That does not sound like it opens the door to independent investigations; neither does it sound like it closes it. This is the same clever use of words that their entire denial is based on. Every problem highlighted in this statement traces back to the same institution, which not only highlights their inefficiency in being transparent or accountable but also provides a basis for future public distrust.
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