Get ready with Tinubu to suffocate the poor
From hiked fuel prices to telecom taxes – the worst of T-pain is yet to come
Good morning, Big Brains. I shouted “God abeg” at least 70 times before I finished writing today’s edition of the newsletter. I had to change my phone two months ago because someone smashed my screen. I kid you not when I tell you that changing that phone took all my salary. The worst part is that I could have bought that phone with half of my salary last year. It’s crazy to think that it only gets worse from here.
- Margaret
Word count: ~1200
Reading time ~ 3 mins
Let’s get into today’s edition:
Fuel prices are about to go crazy
Tinubu wants to suffocate your love life, friendships and personal life
Cameroon’s president just tore a page out of Tinubu’s book
The Big Deal
Fuel prices are about to go crazy
Some things are high enough in Nigeria and have no business getting higher. Fuel prices are one of those things but it has sadly refused to read the room. What’s more? Gabriel Ogbechie, the Group Managing Director of Rainoil Ltd, is convinced that only the God of the Hallelujah Challenge can stop fuel prices from rising again. Don’t shoot the messenger Gabriel Ogbechie, he’s only telling you what to expect from President Tinubu’s new trick.
In case you were wondering what the President did, we’re getting there. On October 9, 2024, Tinubu fully deregulated fuel pricing. This is just a fancy way of saying that the prices of fuel will now be determined by things like market forces and exchange rates, instead of the government. Also, do you remember the controversial removal of the fuel subsidy? Add that to the deregulation thing, and you’ve arrived at Gabriel’s point- he believes that these two factors are the worst combo for your account balance and because of them, fuel prices will continue to get worse. One thing you should know about Gabriel though, he’s a fan of the removal of fuel subsidies and deregulation. He just feels bad for us because we are going to be at the receiving end of this entire thing.
Gabriel explained that petrol prices will continue fluctuating as long as crude oil prices and the exchange rate change. If the price of crude oil drops, petrol prices may decrease. But predicting Nigeria’s future isn’t the easiest thing to do. Gabriel’s advice? – prepare to buy fuel at more expensive market-driven prices going forward.
Why is this a big deal?
Nigerians have already experienced a crazy hike that nobody saw coming– from ₦175 per litre in May 2023 to around ₦1,300 per litre in some areas. Anything higher than that sounds like the beginning of another round of hardship.
Why? Fuel touches everything. It's not just about filling your car tank. It’s the price of your food, your transport fare, plus the cost of running generators (because who knows when the national grid will fall again?). Now that the government has stopped controlling the price, it’s like handing fuel prices over to "vibes and inshallah." The era of buying fuel for ₦175 /litre that we knew and loved was possible because the government regulated these prices. Now, we’re at the mercy of global crude oil prices and the naira’s shaky exchange rate, which can take another dip anytime. So, if the price of crude oil jumps or the naira takes another dive, we’ll all be paying more to keep the lights on and food on the table.
For Nigerians who are already struggling, being forced to deal with higher fuel prices is like asking them to count the stars in the sky– again, doable but only with the help of the God of Hallelujah Challenge. And with inflation already causing enough damage, this might just be what sends more people over the edge financially. We hate to be that guy but times are about to get scarier.
Tinubu wants to suffocate your love life, friendships and personal life
Long-distance lovers, the government is after your relationship status.
Your President’s administration woke up and decided to implement a plan that will make calls and other telecom services more expensive for Nigerians by reintroducing excise duty on telecoms. In plain English, the tax on your phone calls is about to jump from the current 7.5% VAT to 12.5%. So say goodbye to speaking to your long-distance lover 7 times daily.
This is part of a bigger tax reform bill that’s supposed to change how taxes work in Nigeria. The bill is also packed with plans to introduce taxes not just on telecom services, but also on gaming, gambling, lotteries, and betting.
According to the bill, service providers in these sectors will now charge consumers based on how much they’re paying for the service. But telecom companies aren’t happy about it, and neither are the people paying for data and calls.
Adeolu Ogunbanjo, the president of the National Association of Telecoms Subscribers, is calling out the government, saying this move will hurt both consumers and telecom firms. He believes it’s just another burden on an already overtaxed industry.
This isn’t the first time the government has tried to introduce this tax. A 5% excise duty on telecom services was proposed in 2022 but was put on ice after complaints from telecom operators and subscribers. With this new bill, it looks like the government is determined to bring it back.
Telecoms companies have been shouting about being overtaxed for a while now, and they’re pushing back hard. Even the former boss of the Nigerian Communications Commission, Umar Danbatta, isn’t feeling it. He believes that telecom services should be left out of these tax reforms because they’re not a luxury – they’re a necessity, affecting over 220 million Nigerians.
If the government cares, they are not acting like it. But the National Association of Telecoms Subscribers is ready to take the fight to court and stop the tax implementation plan. We’re clearly “Team No Tax” so let’s go!
Cameroon’s president just tore a page out of Tinubu’s book
Nigeria and Cameroon are twinning in the remote President area. After spending close to three weeks away from Nigeria, President Tinubu returned to the country on October 19. Paul Biya, Cameroon’s 91-year-old president, probably saw how Governor Sanwo-Olu left his responsibilities in Lagos to attend Tinubu’s grand “welcome back” ceremony and figured it was time to go back to his people too. After 42 days of being away from his country, Biya is finally back in Cameroon.
Like Tinubu, Biya got a grand welcome too. He was welcomed by his secretary general, Ferdinand Ngoh Ngoh and billboards that said, “Long life to His Excellency Paul Biya, father of the nation.” Thousands of Biya’s die-hard supporters also waited to greet the president outside the Etoudi presidential palace, rocking fabrics with his face all over them.
His long absence had everyone asking questions and spreading rumours about his health. But the rumours didn’t last for long because the government went as far as banning any conversation about his health, calling it a national security issue.
Not sure if this is a W for Cameroonians but at least their president is no longer working remotely.
This Week’s Big Question
“What’s the first thing you’re buying on salary day?”
Lauretta’s response - “One kilo of turkey. I’ve been eating dried fish and boiled eggs since October 2. I’m tired.”
You can also share your response here and if it’s as interesting as Lauretta’s response, we’ll feature it in the next edition.
The Big Picks
Germany detects its first case of new mpox variant: Germany has confirmed its first case of the new mpox variant, according to the country's public health authority, the Robert Koch Institute (RKI).
NIS transfers Bobrisky to FCID after arrest: Lagos influencer Idris Okuneye, known as Bobrisky, is currently being held at the Force Criminal Investigation Department Annex in Alagbon, Lagos.
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